Pra-hiatus

OK GUYS SO HERE IT GOES. We've already reach the second month of 2012 which is means that we-the senior year's student- are getting closer to both National Examination and SNMPTN. How do I feel about that? I absolutely definitely totally feel so insecure, depressed, and way more lack of motivation than before. Those feelings lead me to be more bipolar, high temper, sensitive, and these are make everything even worse. I dont even know whether I should focus for UN first or focus for both UN&SNMPTN for these very beginning. Okay whatever, I actually have so many stuffs to share but I should've not wasting my time posting on here, and I'd better start studying now asap. This probably the last thing I post till I successfully reach my aims, so I'll just type my pray, wishing that you-who read this post- would pray for me too whenever you read this post

In the name of Allah, the most gracious and the most merciful
I witness that there's no lord except Allah
And I witness that prophet Muhammad is the messenger of Allah

I testify that Allah is my lord
And I testify that Islam is my religion
And I testify that Muhammad is teh prophet and messenger of Allah
And I testify that the Holy Quran is my way of life

Ya Allah, please increase my knowledge, and please broaden my intelligences
Ya Allah, please answer my prayer

Ya Allah, please let me get what I always dreaming on. Please let me make my parents happy and proud of me. Please help me to get trhough all the hurdle that comes on my way to reaching my aim. Please give me the strength to not give up on my dream. Please give me your blessings all the time of my life. Please help me to get closer and closer to you, to be a better and better person ahead. LAHAULA WALA QUWWATA ILLA BILLAH <3

If only you read this post

 

Tell me you don’t want me

Just admit it. Stop leading me on, coming and going as you please. Just tell me you don’t care about me or if I’m in your life or not. That way I can let go of you. But don’t pretend to like me so you don’t hurt my feelings or just because it’s amusing to you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

THE LAST POST IN 2011

So guys, this is new years eve and I really have nothing to do. Then I decided to spend my nye in front of my laptop and write some stuffs in here. Im absolutely sure I'll be the most pathetic person alive T_T
Okay I'll write some lists about 2011, here it goes..

LIST OF WHAT POOPS ON MY MIND WHEN I REALIZED THAT 2011 IS ABOUT TO END

• Gilak 3 taun lagi gue udah kepala 2
• 3 taun lagi Farhan officially jadi teenagers (thirteen)
• 3 taun lagi umur ortu gue udah setengah abad
• UN san SNMPTN udah menghitung hari
• Taun depan gue udah bukan pelajar lagi
• Taun depan gue dapet KTP

LIST OF MY HOBBIES IN 2011

• Belanja (super mega extravagant)
• Makan (that's why I gained 2kilos, thanks God)
• Liat youtube (dulu dulu jarang banget)
• Berenang (it's most likely a routinity)
• Nonton film unyu (I used to prefer sci-fi/comedy/animation)
• Nebengin anak kelas (bukan hobi sih, tapi biasanya dulu-dulu gue yang nebeng ke orang wkwk)
• Gapake gesper (hobi yang satu ini berhubungan sama hobi makan)

LIST OF THING IM OBSESSED WITH IN 2011

• Terobsesi siap-siap jadi istri/ibu/iburumahtangga yang baik, rencananya ntar pas kuliah pengen les masak, jait, dll lah.
• Terobsesi rencanain konsep pernikahan, gara-gara liat di tumblr lucu-lucu gitu. 
• Terobsesi nyiapin baju kebaya buat wisuda sama baju bridal
• Terobsesi bikin rumah idaman yang banyak kaca nya, trus rumahnya country2 gitu, backyardnya rumput semua, trus ada loteng yang atap nya transparan buat ruang kumpul2 keluarga
• Terobsesi ngilangin komedo di hidung (tapi ga kesampean)

LIST OF THING I'VE NEVER DONE BUT THEN I FINALLY DID  IN 2011

• Mama nya pacar (sekarang udah ex) jenguk mama gue di RS
• Mama nya pacar jenguk gue di RS
• Gue main kerumah pacar, pacar main kerumah gue
• Pacaran nyampe setaun
• Kena penyakit gajelas bernama infeksi usus
• Jalan sama temen, baru nyampe rumah jam 10
• Temen-temen kelompok senam latian dirumah sampe jam set10 
• Skype video call mehehehe 
• Luluran sendiri
• Berantem, lost contact sama sahabat, gara gara cowo. Totally silly
• Webcam di omegle ketemu orang Jepang gans 

MY FAVORITE STUFFS OF THE YEAR

• Film unyu : I give my first love to you
• Aktor : Masaki Okada, Skandar Keynes
• Band : Maroon5, The Warblers
• Singer : Katy Perry, Avril Lavigne
• Song : Silly Love Song
• Drink : Goodday Coolin
• Snack : Something spicy
• Quote : If it's meant to be, it will
• Crush : *POTATO named Mr. Gatot* <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

LIST OF RESOLUTIONS

• Wanna be closer to my dearest Allah SWT
• Wanna put a smile on my parents, make them proud, give them a simple lil happiness
• Wanna be maturer, nicer, more patient, more lovely, and so on
• Study harder! Solemnly swear I will!
• Have a healthy life, practicing frequently, eat healthy food etc
• GOTTA SAVE MONEY CONSTANTLY!!!!
• Have an ideal weight
• JOIN ARCHERY CLUB FOSHO

LIST OF WISHES

• Semoga gue bisa jadi pribadi yang lebih baik lagi dalam segala aspek. Terutama bisa lebih berbakti sama orangtua, lebih bertakwa kepada Allah SWT, lebih rajin, pantang menyerah untuk mewujudkan cita cita gue :')
• Semoga ditahun yang akan datang, semuanya (gue, keluarga, temen-temen tersayang) jadi lebih baik (apasih), dalam hal kesehatan rejeki dll
• Being accepted in university&faculty that best for me (in Allah's point of view)
• Make my parents proud of me
• Being graduated with marvelous score
• Have a perfect boyfriend (perfect in my point of view)

Yeah there's so many thing I've faced in 2011, good, silly, worth, everything. Every single of it is valuable, and indirectly tell me more and more about what life actually mean, also makes me stronger, even wiser for facing my life ahead. Mmmm I think thats all for nowwwww.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU GUYS

SEIZE YOUR TOMORROW, LEARN OUR YESTERDAY

LOTS LOVE <3

The awkward moment

The awkward moment when you're crying for something that's not worth enough to be cried for. The awkward moment when you've known and realized about something but you're still crying when you saw the obvius fact. The awkward moment when you cant choose to refuse this feeling though you know it'll hurt you in the end. The awkward moment when you just wanna die, because of something dumb. The awkward moment when suddenly you're feeling that you're lonely facing this damnshitty stuffs. The awkward moment when you dont know what to do and end up post a spam in your blog.

THE AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN YOU JUST WANNA BE ALONE AND NOT IN THE MOOD TO TALK AND THERE'S SOMEBODY WHO KEEPS TEXTING YOU UNIMPORTANT STUFFS AND YOU FEEL LIKE NOBODY FCKING UNDERSTAND YOU

This is important. I hope YOU read this

Just wanna spread out some shts that stucks on my mind. There's something I want guys to understand. A little important thing which can save a girl's heart. Here it goes. I think guys shouldnt act way too nice, or it'll indirectly giving a high expectation for a girl who is in love with you. She'll probably think that you like her too, and thats really bad! You shouldn't act like she is special if she isn't that special for you. Shouldn't pretend to care a lot about her when in fact you dont care that much. UNDERSTAND? AND ONE MORE. If you're typical of sweetie guys who always act way too nice to everygirl, pls just let her know about that shity fact  for the very first time then she won't feel so special, won't think that you like her, won't expect too high, and won't feeling a broken heart.

Please guys, pretty please. A girl's heart isn't something that you can play with. It is a fragile precious thing. Please try to be a gentleman, protect it and don't break it. AND THINK BEFORE YOU ACT. Cause a little thing you do/said will means a whole world to a girl (especially if she has a crush on you/in love with you)

Sweet little thing

Well hey guys, I have no class today and probably tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow. And I really dont know what to do when there's actually a lot of things but none of them is interesting enough to do. Okay since I 'have nothing to do' I'll tell you about someone, about hows the first time I met him. My friend (or bestfriend, whatever) that I haven't meet in real life.

it was the last week of November 2010, when I was really into tumblr and le scroll all day long. He followed me, and messages me, asking for chitchats. he was newbie and firstly we talked alot about how tumblr works, and idk why butthe convs was too interesting to be ended, so we talked till midnight, and the next day we talked again, and again and again and since that moment, we talked everyday. We knew a lil bit more about each other, and we're influented each other about stuffs we like. He introduced some kpop to me. I was really hate kpop back than. But he had influented me successfully. And I introduced yiruma to him, and so on. It's like a total fun to have a chat with him.

Months passed and it was February 2011 already. I thought he wouldnt remember my birthday, but then he give me a cute gif and said 'you're really nice person, I hope we could know each other more and get along well till forever. I'd like to meet you in person too, someday :)' Idk why but it was the best gift I had (I mean the second best. the best was from my ex bf).

And then March. The month when Japan got hit by a great tsunami wave. When there was also issues that Philippines and Indonesia are going to get hit by tsunami also. Icould barely imagine if something happened to him, I worried a lot like whatever and I decided to hurry logged in to my tumblr account. Then again being surprised by a bunch of messages from him that said 'Have you heard about the issues?' 'are you okay' 'pls reply asap when you read my messages' I did barely think that he would worried that much :') A lot of things happened that I couldnt tell one by one. Things you should know is, we've been bestfriend already for such a short time (?)

May, when he had a summer holiday. when everything goes wrong. when we're had missunderstanding, and didnt talk for several days. Idk why but I felt a real painful. The fact that we had just being friends about 8 months makes it quite melancholic. Okay I dont wanna talk too much about this. Dunno how to explain about it and you'd probably will never understand about how it feels. Finally the missunderstanding between us had been resolved yay. But since that, everything's gone awkward and we didnt talk as much as before. But we're still had fun instead. And this was the time that I decided to lost contact and gone forever (lebe). I created new account and ignoring the old one without deactived it cause it is too precious to be deactived.

Then it comes June, July, came back to school as a senior year student. August, September, and November. It was his birthday, and I didnt know whether I should greeted him or not. But I decided to made him a grafitti via facebook. Guess what? He didnt give any response. Great, it's like great as hellafckngdmnsht. Since that, I was really sure that we wont talk anymore, we'd just be ex-friend (?) and forget each other.

December. The first term of senior year ended already. Today, I have nothing to do and decided to check my facebook account and being surprised by one message notification from him :') I was like 'omg I thought he didnt want to talk with me anymore, I wone krai'. I wish he forgive my absenceness. I wish we could get a long as well as the previous several months. I really wish to meet him in real life someday, somehow.

Sometimes people come to your life to make everything sweeter, nicer, better. Doesnt mean that he'll stay forever. If it meant to be than he'll stay forever. If he didnt mean to be, then he won't. But he'll still leave you a lil good memories (or probably a bunch of good memories) that you wont regret

PS : SORRY FOR WRONG GRAMMAR, I KNOW IM BAD